Too Innocent?

I was in class the other day.
My friend, who is severely depressed, praised me for being happy all the time.
I just smiled and said, "Yeah, but you don't know what I'm like behind closed doors."

Because, behind closed doors, I have a heaviness on my shoulders. A certain aching behind my eyes that only goes away when I smile - genuinely smile.

She just laughed and said, "You're too innocent, though!"

I wanted to yell at her. To scream, "You put on a mask every time you come to school, why can't you see through mine?" Because it is a mask. I hug and comfort my friends until they stop crying, until the thought of killing themselves is gone, until the hurt and anguish has passed for a millisecond.

Because that's all it takes. If someone took the time to make me happy for a millisecond while I was silently crying in class... I wouldn't have that weight on my shoulders.
I sit there, right next to the girl who calls herself my best-friend. And she doesn't even notice as I wipe away the tears trickling down my cheeks. I won't let myself make any noise. But I give it a few seconds... Just a few, to see if she'll notice. I let the salty droplets slide down my cheeks until they've gone past my nose, then I dry them and stop crying. It's almost like a test. But instead of hurting my "best-friend" when she fails, it hurts me.


Saddening rant: OVER :D

Intros are FUN! :D

I don't really know what I'm doing here. I guess...
I guess I'll just rant.
I'll talk about what life is like for the young new-teenager.
So, yeah. I'm young, I'm in school, I'm a girl, and I'm venting. :)

I'm not very sure what normal people blog about - I'm not normal, never have been, never will be.

I'm a nerd. :)
I love a theater company, Starkid, and I'm obsessed with Darren Criss.
He's such an inspiration, and has saved me from myself. My friends all laugh at me for loving him, but you've gotta love your savior. I can't count the number of times that I might've done something I'd regret, but the thought of him has kept me from it.

....So! That's me. :) Stay tuned. I'll maybe do movie reviews? Talk about music? Friend problems? Teenager views on political issues?

Whatever! Any questions? Any suggestions? Just comment... I think?

Pleassee forgive my lack of blogging-knowledge!
I'm learning!

Bye for now
- ImInDistress